Here is a recent photo of a setting sun down nearby Walker Street and I am reminded that the sun never forgets to do what she has to do whereas I did forget the significance of 16th May.
Every day in my Gratitude book I record how many days it is since I last saw Salv. And after noting 335 days in the morning I went about my merry May Sunday. It was a seismic shock when Bernard rang me in the evening to remind me that it was 11 months to the day that Salv had died before our very eyes and hearts.
I had paused at each other month: July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March & April. But not in May.
At first I was very remorseful but then I remembered some words I had read by Judith Lucy in her recent book:
“I’m pretty familiar with how grief works now: you just have to go with it and there’s never a time by which you should be over it.
You just feel terrible until you start having days when you don’t.
Gradually you get a few of these in a row, then a few more, and then one day you realize you haven’t thought about your loss for a while and you surprise yourself.
In my experience, it’s usually at this point just when you think you’ve turned a corner that something pulls you right back into the abyss
And the whole process starts again.
We don’t (ever) get over these heartaches.”
It helped.
MaryAnne (widow)
Remembering Salv Caleo 